The Perils of Alphabetical Seating
by TheBucketWoman
Summary: Flashfic for Unoriginal Elizabeth. "They'd agreed to be “friends” which, everyone but Casey knew, didn't mean that they would ever really be at ease with each other." Dasey and featuring, well, someone who used to be with Casey.


The Perils of Alphabetical Seating

By TheBucketWoman

Disclaimer: Do not own _LWD_, its characters or anything else I reference herein.

A/N: This is a flashfic for Unoriginal Elizabeth. Prompt will follow.

"The Perils of Alphabetical Seating"

There was nothing like alphabetical seating when the universe wanted to mess with you. They were all gathered in the auditorium/gym/cafeteria for graduation rehearsal. As far as the senior class was concerned, McDonald was really only a hop, skip, and a jump away from Miller. And unfortunately, Hop, Jason McKinley, was having his appendix out, so he wasn't there. Cindy Mendez (Skip) was in Puerto Rico doing some kind of family thing and decided to get her diploma in the mail. And Brian Michaelson, aka Jump, just wasn't graduating. That put McDonald next to Miller.

Max Miller sneezed twice in rapid succession and wondered if it was just the dust or, he hoped, the beginnings of pneumonia, or ebola, or something that could get him the hell out of this hot dusty room so that he didn't have to sit next to hot, dusty Casey McDonald.

_Dusty? _He thought, shaking his head. He never pretended to be a wit. He left that to others.

"Bless you," Casey said, automatically.

"Thank you," Max said, just as automatically. Both of them kept facing front. There was just no need for eye contact between them. Like ever. Things weren't what you'd call good between Max and Casey.

Their breakup,even though it had been more than a year before, had been nasty enough for them not to speak much. He couldn't help it. He was pissed for a long time. When it happened, he thought that only Casey McDonald would choose the biggest game of his high school career to have a crisis. Right at that moment, she just _had_ to make it about her.

Of course, later on his Mom had given him the idea that he had just missed the signs that Casey was having some trouble. That maybe Casey had tried to tell him before and that he hadn't been listening.

"Sometimes, you tend to do that, Sweetie," his Mom had said. "Go off into your own world?"

"Huh?" he'd said, looking up from the hangnail he'd been worrying. "I do not!"

But even if he did, that didn't mean that she couldn't have held back her drama for a couple hours. It was the biggest most important game he'd ever been in.

In the end he felt himself being let down easy (_Take a break, my ass!_ He'd thought.) so he just swung the ax himself. Not one of his smartest moves, but he stuck with it, though Casey didn't make it easy, trying to get back with him the way she had.

They'd agreed to be "friends" which, everyone but Casey knew, didn't mean that they would ever really be at ease with each other. They'd nodded at each other in the halls, but it rarely went beyond that.

That was why Max stared resolutely at the cornrowed head of whoever it was in front of him. Sitting next to Casey was awkward enough, he didn't want to make it worse by actually talking to her. He rolled and unrolled the copy of the school newspaper he'd grabbed on the way in just to have something to do with his hands.

Up front, Mrs. Zeldin lectured the class about not scraping chairs and getting up and sitting down again in unison. She made the group get up and sit down four or five times in a row before she was satisfied. Then she ran through the procedure for marching down the aisle and getting the diploma, complete with the whole shaking of hands and moving of tassels. She ran to the back of the room, walked down the aisle, accepted an imaginary diploma and shook hands with the air in front of her, then switched her nonexistent tassel from left to right.

"Do you think she'll let us do 'trapped in a box,' too?"Ralph Papadopoulos said from behind Casey.

"Ralphie," Casey whispered, while trying not to lose it. Max snickered into one fist.

"'Cause you know I'm really good at the pretending to walk downstairs thing, but they have _real_ stairs here, so I dunno how that'll work," Ralph said.

"Quit it," Casey whispered.

"But Casey," Ralph said. "You know that a mime..."

"Oh God, don't say it," Max said.

"Thank you," Casey said. "What Max said. Don't say it."

"Don't say what?" Ralph asked. "That 'a mime is a terrible thing to waste'?"

"Can I borrow that?" Casey asked, pointing to the paper that Max had begun trying to make into a hat. He never did get the hang of stuff like that.

"Be my guest," Max said.

Casey smacked Ralph with it and handed it back.

"Thank you," Casey said.

"Anytime," Max said.

"--And Mr. Lassiter has asked me to remind you that the caps and gown are rented and therefore anyone who paints or otherwise alters them will have to pay for them. This includes using masking tape to write messages on top of the caps. And we also suggest that you dress comfortably but..._appropriately_," Mrs. Zeldin said. "If it is at all unclear what we mean by appropriate, _Derek_, I'll be handing out guidelines before you leave."

Both Casey and Max turned to see Derek's reaction. Derek was sitting ramrod straight with his hands folded. The only thing missing was a halo. Casey turned back to face the front with the hint of a smile on her face. That was a change. Nothing that Derek did was ever funny before, at least not to Casey.

"What does she expect him to do?" Max asked, unable to resist. "Streak?"

"Oh God," Casey said. "I did not need that image." She covered her eyes with her hand, then moved the hand down to her mouth as the giggling started again.

Max waited until she calmed down a bit, then he leaned close to her and said "Stuh-reeeak," setting her off again.

"Stop it!" she whispered.

"Stop what?" Max whispered back.

"Guys," Mrs. Zeldon said. "Seriously? The sooner you get this little routine down, the sooner you get out of here and head to the picnic. I know this is boring, believe me I do...and...you know what? What the hell. Take a ten minute break."

This was why people liked Mrs. Zeldin. Max leaned back in his folding chair and fanned himself with his newspaper. Then he shifted it so that he could fan Casey.

"Why thank you," she said as she pulled her hair back and stuck a scrunchie through it.

"Wouldn't want to be ungentlemanly," Max said. "'Cause you know, chivalry isn't dead."

"Ha-ha," Casey said. "So, how you doing, Max?"

"Can't complain," Max said.

"I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever," Casey said. "I heard you're gonna go to UBC?"

"Yeah," Max said.

"That's awesome," Casey said. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," Max said. "Kinda got lucky. All I have to do is keep em fooled for...the next four years..."

"Please," Casey said. "You deserve it, and you're gonna do really well."

He didn't like to contradict Casey when she was in a generous sort of mood. It really seemed like she liked him better in the year or so since they broke up. The whole time they had been together she'd been impossible to please. He was constantly saying the wrong thing to her or doing the wrong thing, which meant that he was always apologizing. Then it was over and he got to hear about how wonderful he was. While all of that sweet talk thawed his anger a little, it also confused the hell out of him.

"What about you?" Max asked. "I heard you got into every school in the known world."

"Six schools," Casey said. "I applied to _six_."

"And they all wanted you," Max said. It wasn't a question.

Casey shrugged. "I just wanted to be safe. I kept telling Derek that he needed to have backup schools and the whole time I was hounding him to fill out more applications, I started to wonder what would happen if I didn't get into any of_ my_ schools so I ended up filling out more applications, too."

"So what'd you pick?" Max said, the corners of his mouth starting to quirk up. Someone else would have said something about Casey worrying too much, but Max knew when to shut it.

"University of Toronto," Casey said.

"UC?" Max asked.

"Yeah," Casey said. He nodded. University College. He'd visited the place. It practically had Casey's name on it. "Now all I have to do is just pick a major and I'll be okay."

"Come again?"

"You know how it is," Casey said. "That's the first thing everyone asks. 'What's your major?' And I don't want to be the only one who doesn't know."

"But you know that you don't have to pick yet, right?" Max asked.

"Please," Casey said. "That's just what people _say_. Of course, _Derek_'s been telling people that he's gonna major in girls and minor in beer..."

"I wonder if you could do that as a double major," Max said, rubbing his chin.

"Very funny," Casey said. "But the truth is, Derek wants to major in cinema studies. So _he_ knows what he wants to do and I _don't_."

"I call it poetic justice," Derek said, coming up behind her and putting a cold bottle of fruit punch between her shoulder blades.

"De-_rek_!" she said.

"What?" Derek said, holding the drink up. "You don't want any?" He started to take it away, but she snatched it back.

"Thought so," Derek said.

"You didn't shake it, did you?" Casey asked.

"It's fruit punch," Derek said. "I could shake it all day and it wouldn't make any difference."

Casey still opened the bottle slowly like she expected it to explode anyway. Then she sniffed the juice in the bottle even though she'd broken the seal on it herself. Derek rolled his eyes.

It took him a minute to notice Max sitting there. Max waved.

"'Sup Max," Derek said, giving him a quick fist bump before he forgot about him again. He grabbed a folding chair and turned it around so that he was straddling it and turned back to Casey. "Ralph's battery died, so we're taking him to the picnic. I thought maybe if you rode in the trunk, we could all fit pretty well." Derek said.

Casey narrowed her eyes at him. "We used to squeeze seven people into that car. Ralph will make five, so stop messing around before I leave you at the park again."

Max chuckled at that.

"Max thinks I'm kidding," Casey said.

"Kidding about which part?" Derek said. He scratched his head.

"Your sense of direction,Casey," Max said. "You need a map to get through the mall. You're not leaving Derek behind anywhere."

Derek nodded.

"Hey!" Casey said. "Is there no loyalty?"

"What?" Max said. "You expect me to lie?"

"Yes!" she said. "I mean, no! I mean, you're supposed to—"

"Lie," Derek said.

Casey held out her hand for Max's newspaper again. He handed it over and she went for Derek's head. He dodged her and grabbed it away. He got up and started your basic game of keep-away.

"I wasn't gonna read that anyway," Max said. Nobody paid him any mind.

She made a lunge for the paper and got her foot tangled in the chair. Max made a token grab for her and missed by a mile. Derek tried to catch her and ended up under her instead. There was a good amount of laughter, a lot of it from Derek himself. A couple of kids moved to help Casey up, even as they laughed. And both Max and Derek noticed they way these two kids tried to peek down Casey's top as they offered their hands. She must have seen it too, because she shrugged them off and got up by herself. Derek gave one of the kids the stink eye and it was enough to make him scurry off. Max cleared his throat and that took care of the other one.

Derek's eyes followed Casey as she slunk off back to her seat.

"Caseey," Derek sing-songed.

She rolled her eyes. "Go back to your own row, Derek."

"But then who'll bother you?" Derek said. "Max just doesn't have the knack for that type of thing."

"I don't wanna be in this," Max said.

"Too late," Derek said, patting Max's shoulder.

"Isn't it enough that you have four more years to torment me?" Casey asked. Which Max took to mean that Derek was going to school with Casey.

"Well," Derek said sitting in Max's seat and putting his arm on the back of her chair. "_No_. You keep telling me not to procrastinate. In fact, this? What I'm doing right now? Is what you call initiative. You should really be proud of me. Shouldn't she, Max?"

Max stared at him.

"Just say yes," Derek said.

"Yes," Max said. He was nothing if not agreeable.

"Don't help him, Max," Casey said.

"I think I'm gonna go over _there_," Max said, pointing randomly. Casey grabbed the back of his shirt as he passed.

"Don't leave me with him!" she said.

"Whatever, Casey," Derek said. "She just doesn't wanna admit she's gonna miss me when we're not sharing a bathroom anymore."

"Miss you?You're gonna be, like, a staircase away from me, you _stalker_. I would _love_ to have the chance to miss you," Casey said. "In fact, I could practice now, if you'd just go away." She was still sitting next to him and his arm was still on the back of her chair.

Max grinned. It occurred to him that Casey would be pissed if Derek walked away. He could just see her hopping off the chair and chasing after him because she wasn't done yelling at him.

"What's so funny?" Casey asked.

"Funny?" Max asked, trying to look innocent. "Naaaaw." He looked at his watch. "Shouldn't we be starting up again?"

"For synchronized sitting?" Derek asked. "No hurry. I mean, unless you like that sort of thing."

"Eh," Max said. "I'm okay at the sitting thing, but I really prefer rolling over."

"Me too," Derek said. "And playing dead is cool. Max just made a _joke_, Case."

"How 'bout that," Max said as dryly as he could. He didn't usually do dry. He'd be annoyed if Derek hadn't been telling the truth. Max could appreciate humor, he just had trouble producing it.

Casey looked from Derek to Max and back again. Then she shook her head like they were both hopeless.

Of course there was a big difference in the look she gave Max and the look she gave Derek. Max felt like he'd just gotten the dorky brother look and Derek had gotten all the passion. That ignited some jealousy. He wasn't after her, not anymore, (and he knew that he didn't have a shot if he _was_ after her) but it had been a while since _any_ girl had given him a look with that much affection in it. After he broke up with Casey, there'd been a lot of serial dating, most girls deciding that he was a meathead and dumping him early on. Then, he went back to Amy, thinking that she was the only one who'd have him and went through six months worth of train wreck with her.

Now, he was hoping that a move across the country would help in the process of remaking himself. He hoped that the odds of finding someone in Vancouver to look at him the way Casey looked at Derek would be in his favor. He had only recently started to realize that he'd have to work on being just a little more worthy of it.

"What's the matter, Max?" Casey asked. "Get a little too close to nacho breath over here?"

Derek breathed on her.

"As you can see, I've built up an immunity to it," Casey said. "But it's been known to cause lightheadedness. Do you need oxygen?"

Max snorted. Usually Casey didn't require more reply than that.

"Seriously, what's up?" Casey asked.

"I'm cool," Max said. If he told her any of what he was thinking, it would just start a whole bunch of stuff that he didn't want to start. He smiled at her. She smiled back uncertainly.

Derek caught Max's eye and nodded like he understood even though he totally didn't understand. Derek probably thought that Max still wanted Casey. Hell, Derek most likely believed that the whole world wanted Casey as much as he did. Couldn't blame him. Couldn't identify either. But maybe one day he would.

Mrs. Zeldin wasn't too strict about the seating arrangements when she called everyone back in. Max had a feeling the heat, the dust and the clattering of the chairs were getting to her. She could wait a couple of days until they were actually about to graduate to worry about how they lined up. All the kids were grateful.

"Okay," she said, finally. "No more magic happening here. Get lost. See you at the picnic."

Derek and Casey and their group (Sam, Ralph, Emily) formed near the exit. Max, who had stopped to tie his sneaker (the left one would never stay tied for some reason) locked eyes with Casey. She peeled off of the edge of their group to come back to where Max was kneeling.

"You're coming to the picnic, right?" she asked. "You have a ride and all?"

"Uh-huh," Max said. "I brought the car. I'm taking a couple people. Why? Somebody need a ride?"

"No," Casey said. "Just wanted to know if you were coming. Never did find out what you were going to major in."

"Double major," Max said.

"Girls and Beer?" Casey asked.

"How'd you know?" Max said.

"See you in a few," Casey said, smiling and turning back toward the door.

FIN

A/N: The prompt was "Thirty minutes in the renewal of a friendship." As usual, I hope I did it justice.


End file.
